For those who couldn't make it on Wednesday - here are my words. Others who made tributes - feel free to add on here too if you would like xxx Hello everybody Thank you so much for coming today to celebrate the life of the kindest, gentlest, most generous, loving and caring man we know. There are 3 things I wanted to say today. I want to say a little bit about Dan, I want to say a few thank yous. And I want to say a bit about SEPSIS. I’m going to start with the hardest bit first and talk about SEPSIS ********************* Dan died from organ failure caused by SEPSIS. I would guess that until this happened to Dan most people in the room won’t have heard of SEPSIS Therefore, there are too many people in one room for us not to take the opportunity to tell you about it now – in the hope you will spread the word and hopefully avoid this happening to someone you love. SEPSIS – (also called septicaemia or blood poisoning) is your bodies response to an infection. If the infection takes too great a hold on you as it did with Dan then Sepsis can develop and start to damage your organs. Getting treatment early can make a difference but it’s notoriously difficult to spot. Be alert if your loved one has an infection or you suspect they might have an infection – particularly urine/kidney infection, skin infections, gastroenteritis, lung infection like pneumonia. People who have had chemo recently or pregnant are at increased risk. Of course you can’t always tell by looking at someone that they have an infection or that the infection has progressed into Sepsis. We thought Dan had flu and this is very common. However, there are some clues to look out for and if you spot them you should ask for help and in particular you should use the phrase “I am concerned about SEPSIS”. You are looking out for: S Slurred speech, confusion, difficult to rouse– it might feel right to let them sleep it off but keep checking them and talking to them E Extreme pain – esp muscle pain Extreme temperature – looking for Shivering or a fever if temperature is less than 36degrees or more than 38degrees then that’s an issue Buy a thermometer Check extremities – if hands and feet feel unusually cold that’s an issue P Passing no urine - not had a wee for 18 hours or more S Short of breath (25 or more breaths per minute). Also if heart rate seems fast - 130 beats per minute or slow - less than 60 beats per minute I “I feel like I might die” – listen to how worried they sound S Skin - Pale or discoloured skin – looks for lips turning blue - if they are in bed go in and put the light on and have a good look at them If you are unsure don’t be afraid to seek urgent help and remember to use the phrase – “I am concerned about SEPSIS – could this be Sepsis? “– as this will put it into the mind of the health professional you are speaking with. There is a handy guide in your order of service – please take it home and stick it on your fridge. More info can be found on the UKsepsis trust website – see videos on “is it flu or sepsis?” Dan’s cousin Charissa is planning an awareness campaign about Sepsis in Dan’s name. if this is something you feel you could help us with please come and talk to Charissa afterwards Now it’s the thankyous There are so many people to thank that I daren’t list your names for fear of missing someone out. Thank you to our family and friends who supported me, Marie and Joy while we were in the hospital and thank you to everyone who has helped us since and thank you to everyone who has helped us prepare for today. For every single person that I have accepted some help from there are 30 people behind them asking what they can do and how can they help. I am overwhelmed by the love and support we have been given. As the news spread that Dan was in hospital I got more and more messages of support every day. That 2 weeks was so difficult. Although I couldn’t reply to them all I read every single message and it helped me to bear it every single day. I thank all of you for thinking of us and sending your positives wishes and prayers. Knowing so many people cared for Dan and for us made a huge difference and I promise I could feel all that love for us. It really helped. Thank you to the intensive care team at the Northern General. I know they tried absolutely everything they could to save Dan. I feel very fortunate that we live where we live and that have the NHS- I know he had the best chance Thank you also to everyone for writing such lovely things about Dan on his tribute site and for all the money we have already raised for the Cathedral Archer Project. I have had such kind cards and messages and donations from people I have never heard of and that’s wonderful. Such is the spread of Dan’s love…. The last thank you goes to our daughter Joy. She is so wise and is such a massive comfort. She gives us all a reason to look forward to tomorrow. Now it’s the bit about Dan Dan was the most fun and most caring Dad and partner. He made me feel loved and cherished every day. He has so many brilliant qualities and I know lots of people are making resolutions to “be more Dan”. Me too. From Dan I have learned a lot about how I want to be. It’s not easy to be like Dan. One of my favourite qualities is his ability to make other people feel comfortable and special. He treated new people as “friends I have not met yet” – his openness towards other people went much deeper than just giving them a hug. Dan did not judge people. He was never suspicious or reserved. He had great empathy and would stop to talk to and hug the people that the rest of us might cross the road to avoid. Dan always knew what was important in life. I know now that laying on the settee doing nothing except cuddle the people you love best in the world is not wasted time – it is absolutely the best way to spend your time and I wish now I had spent more time doing that with him. To finish – I just want to remind us that we people in this room are the luckiest people. We are lucky because Dan loved us and we had the chance to experience his sunshine for as long as we did. I don’t know how we are going to do it but we really need to try our best to have a good time today – because Dan would really want us to do that.